That's Not How You Take A Nap - Side Story

Kenji rubbed the sore bruise on his shoulder with a grimace as he made his way down the streets of Honegakure. He enjoyed training and all, but sometimes Megumi could get a little rough, even when she held back to the point where he could almost hit her. A simple flick of her fingers could be enough to knock him off balance, and a backhand could send him spinning across the grass. Sure, he didn't mind--after all, it only helped him improve--but damn did it sting. At the very least he was used to it, after training under his sister for so long.

Stopping off at one of the snack shops on his way home, Kenji ordered a couple sticks of dango and munched on the sweet sumplings a little at a time. He never understood how Megumi and eat them whole, when he could barely manage a tiny bite. Well, he knew what she said was the reason, but surely she was just teasing...like she usually did. At least, he hoped.

As he turned the corner between two buildings to head into the alley that functioned as a shortcut home, Kenji didn't notice the unmoving form curled up beneath a bundle of newspapers. Not really paying attention to where he was walking, he tripped clean over the form and sprawled outright through the air, losing his grip on his last dango stick as he tumbled into a somersault to break his fall.Unfortunately, in spite of his somewhat smooth recovery, an entire dumpling gulped into the back of his mouth, leading to a fit of coughing as he attempted to chew and swallow.

"Uf..." the newspaper-clad figure grunted as she was bodily tripped over by someone who hadn't even realized she was right there napping. It didn't appear as though it really caused her any pain, but it was certainly enough to awaken her from her fitful slumber, rolling over lazily with a long yawn just in time for that rogue stick of dango to pop straight into her open mouth.

Iwakan, now uncovered and revealed, looked surprised for a moment before reaching up to take the stick in hand and calmly pull it out, chewing on the dumpling that had already gone past her lips.

"Breakfast in bed on a stick... Not bad..." she mused slowly, bringing herself up to a sitting position like a Frankenstein's monster. She had yet to even notice, or at least acknowledge, Kenji who was still coughing up his accident a couple of feet away. "I could use a guy like that..."

By the time Kenji managed to choke down his dumpling enough to swallow and clear his throat, he was wiping tears out of his eyes from the stress of almost suffocating. And, when he turned around to see what he had tripped over, he paused with a moment of disbelief. Not only was there a person who had been lying under those newspapers, but said person was now eating his dango.

"What...who the...what are you doing there?"" he said, jumping to his feet. "And why are you eating my lunch!"

He made a desperate grab for the stick, on which only one piece of dumpling remained.

"Well, I was sleeping... obviously..." Iwakan answered matter-of-factly, finally glancing over to give Kenji some attention. "Oh, was this yours? Well thanks, I guess. I really appreciate the straight to mouth delivery. It's even more convenient than having to lift it to your mouth." Just as Kenji was reaching to relieve her of the dango, Iwakan quickly scarfed the last morsel down in a single bite.

"You seem like a pretty cool kid," Iwakan mused. "I bet you got a big one, trying to impress a lady like that."

Kenji let out a desperate groan as the womangobbled down the last dango before he could reach it. Well, there went almost half his lunch. He didn't have much time to worry about his wasted money though before the woman made another comment that caught his attention. He paused a second, his mouth falling partially open as he stared at her.

Had he heard her right? He...couldn't have heard her right. Spending so much time around Megumi brought with it an unfortunate understanding of suggestive and crude language, but surely someone he had never met before wouldn't be dropping those kind of implications at him right off the bat...would she?

"Uh...a big...right," he said, with a subtle clear of his throat. "Well, you know, those dumplings cost money. That I don't have a lot of."

"Well then, you probably shouldn't be trying to woo random women with breakfast in bed if you can't afford it. It just makes you look like a cheapskate when you have to start asking them for money because their sugardaddy's run dry. It doesn't matter how big your heart is if your wallet isn't just as big." Iwakan shook her head incredulously at the boy. Men these days.

A big heart. Of course. He had been spending too much time around Megumi for his own good apparently. Still, his misinterpretation of words didn't much help the current situation.

"Feed you? I didn't feed you!" Kenji insisted. "I tripped over you because you were sleeping in the middle of an alley under a bunch of newspapers! Who does that?"

With Megumi as a sister, he had always assumed he had seen the weirdest people had to offer, but this woman was swiftly proving him wrong. Then again, what if she was homeless? That would explain what she was doing sleeping in an alley...and in that case Kenji would probably feel like shit for assuming she was just strange.

"I do that," the young woman responded, raising her brow at the kid like he was a moron. "Home was too far away and this seemed pretty convenient, so I went for it. So, if you didn't feed me and just tripped over me how did food end up straight in my mouth? You must've put it there somehow since no one else is around." She shrugged apathetically.

"I didn't put it anywhere!" Kenji insisted. "When I tripped over you, I lost it and tumbled across the ground. You're the one who must have taken it and eaten it. Or it just fell into your mouth, although really what are the chances of that?"

After spitting out his retort, Kenji took a moment to actually take a better look of this women. He hadn't really noticed at first due to her being partially covered by newspapers still, but apparently she was dressed int...pretty much just bandages from what he could tell. That outfit could not be comfortable. He tried to get a better look to see if there were any actual clothes, but he couldn't tell from this angle.

Even more bizarre than the bandages, though, was the large key he now noticed on her head. Or rather...going through her head from the look of it. He blinked at it, cocked his head sideways, and asked, "Uh...are you alright?" He pointed to his own head, at where the key seemed to be going through the woman's skull. "You got a little something...there."

Iwakan was only just about to reply concerning his food and her mouth when he asked if she was alright and pointed to his own head.

"Uuuuuh..." she trailed off cluelessly before the light of realization suddenly sparked in her eyes. "You mean this?" Iwakan questioned while the two halves of a key on either side of her head wiggled about like a second set of ears and sparked with slight traces of lightning chakra. "Everything is fine. Thanks for asking." And with that said, Iwakan tossed away the empty stick she was still holding and curled back up in the alley with her newspapers, no longer paying Kenji any mind.

"Uh...okay then," Kenji said, with a confused blink. This woman just got weirder the longer he spoke to her, and now she was curling up to go back to sleep. In the middle of an alley. When she already stated she had a home. "I guess I'm just gonna...yeah."

He started to walk away from her, but stopped himself a few steps away with a sigh. Turning back to her, he asked, "Are you sure you want to sleep there? I mean...you said you have a home, right? Wouldn't a bed be more...comfortable?"

Already attempting to go back to sleep, Iwakan allowed one eye to drift back open as the boy who'd stumbled upon her continued their conversation. She'd thought it was over. What a bother...

"You gonna carry me?" she inquired sarcastically, yet not entirely unseriously.

Kenji blinked again at the girl, trying to decipher if she was being serious or not. As far as he could determine, it should have been a joke, and her tone was sarcastic...but she didn't seem to be doing anything else to get up out of the newspapers. Really, he shouldn't have cared that much, and he should have just left her there, and yet...he couldn't just leave someone lying in an alley, even if she was doing it by choice.

"I mean...do you want me to?" he asked. "If that would get you out of the newspaper pile..."

"Do you want to?" she responded noncommittally, both eyes now open and staring at Kenji expectantly, though she had yet to bother sitting up from her position laying prone on the ground amidst the newspapers. She wasn't about to just ask him to carry her. If it was going to happen it would be his decision and not hers, that way he had no right to complain. She knew exactly what she was doing.

Kenji blinked at her again and huffed out a sigh. "Uh...yeah, sure, I guess." If this was really the only way to get this woman off the streets and back to wherever she lived, he supposed he was going to have to do it. Granted, he could just leave her there, but his better nature wouldn't let him. She could get hurt by...something, if she just stayed there. And what if it started raining?

With a bracing exhale, Kenji reached down to lift the woman into his arms. He wasn't exactly the strongest person around, but he felt he could lift her well enough at least. "But you have to tell me where you live, since...I don't know where I'm going."

"Well, thanks. You're a real pal." Iwakan nudged him playfully in the chest with her elbow, looking quite pleased with herself that she'd managed to convince this kid to give her a lift home so she wouldn't have to do it herself. Fortunately for him, he'd find that Iwakan was incredibly light with barely any meat on her bones. After all, though one needs to be motivated to exercise they also need motivation to eat as well. It wasn't every day that someone else's food just happened to fall straight into her mouth.

"To the love hotel if you would please," she instructed simply.

Kenji was a little surprised when he was able to hoist the young woman into his arms with little trouble. How little did she weigh that he could carry her and move at the same pace as he could without her, and without stumbling?

Any questions about her weight disappeared when the woman mentioned where to take her. "Wait, the...love hotel? You live at the love hotel?"

He had never been there himself, of course, given his youth and...inexperience in that regard, but he had heard about the place. Megumi had even joked about taking him there several times, but that was just her usual teasing. As far as he knew though, it wasn't really a place someone...lived. Unless this woman didn't actually want to go home and was just looking to have herself a good time, but was too lazy to walk there herself?

Whatever the reason, Kenji was too deep in it now. With a sigh, he carried her off down the streets, earning a few confused glances from other villagers. When he arrived at the love hotel, he stood in front of the entrance with a long stare at the door, still clutching Iwaken in his arms. She was so light he'd almost forgotten he was carrying her at this point. Right now he was debating whether or not he should actually take her inside or leave her in front of the door. While she would probably just curl up and nap on the doormat if he left her here, he couldn't just...go in. From what he'd heard about this place, someone like him didn't belong there.

"So, uh...we're here. Do you...want me to take you inside?"

"I made it. I think I'm allowed to live there," Iwakan responded, sounded only mildly offended about being questioned concerning her choice of home.

She waited impatiently as Kenji hesitated right in front of the doors, yawning sleepily and stretching in his arms as he asked his question about whether they needed to go inside.

"Well yeah..." she answered as if his question was stupid. She thought it was, really. "It's not like there's people screwing right in the lobby. Let's go in..."

Kenji blinked in surprise, looking from the entrance down to the woman in his arms. She made this place? So that meant she owned it... which suddenly made a lot more sense why she would live here. Still, he would have expected her to have a separate home from the place she worked. He supposed he shouldn't worry about it, in any case.

When she gave the command to go inside, Kenji gulped and gave a quick nod. "O-okay...sure, right. Of course." Honestly, from the stories Megumi had told him about this place, he wouldn't have been surprised if there were 'people screwing right in the lobby'. He wasn't sure whether to trust Iwaken's reassurances, or be mindful of Megumi's teasing. In any case, he huffed in a deep breath and marched through the doors into the lobby.

"Alright, so we're inside. I'm...assuming you want me to take you to your bedroom?" Somehow, he didn't think he'd get away with leaving her in the lobby. Even if she would probably sleep there anyway.

"...Yup," Iwakan answered without inflection, stretching a bit to point toward the desk just in front of them. Behind it was an unlabeled door that almost blended in with the wall if it weren't for the handle. "Not far now..."

Kenji looked to where the woman was pointing, taking a second to notice the almost invisible door against the wall behind the front desk. If not for the handle he probably would have missed it entirely. Hoisting Iwaken a little higher into his arms, he marched towards the door and turned the handle to enter the bedroom within.

"So, uh...if you're out sleeping in the middle of the village, who exactly runs this place when you're away?" he asked. He took a look around the room until he found the bed and then carried the woman towards it. "Or are you like...closed right now?"

The bedroom was bare and undecorated, mostly just a room to hold a bed with an open kitchen not far away and a closed door off to the side that was likely her bathroom.

"Just toss me anywhere," she grinned slightly. "Still open for business. If I don't catch people on the way in I will on the way out. The door is locked on the inside. Can't get out without me and most people don't wanna be stuck in a love hotel for too long. The regulars know how things work, but it's pretty funny when you get some frantic newbie who thought he could get a free room shouting through the place or trying to break down the door."

"Uhh... right, sure," Kenji said, with a subtle clear of his throat. He wasn't sure how much longer he wanted to be in this love hotel. Aside from the obvious, the place seemed rather strange, and the owner even strange, and the owner even stranger. He quickly made his way across the bedroom and dropped the woman onto the mattress. "Okay, well...there you go. I gues I'll be...leaving now."

He just gave her a simple wave and hurriedly made his way back into the lobby over the hotel. When he made it to the exit, he reached for the door, grabbed the handle...and found it wouldn't budge. He frowned, trying again, but still the knob wouldn't turn. At first he stared in confusion, only to remember what Iwaken had mentioned previously when explaining how the love hotel worked. Granted, he could break the door down easy enough to leave...but he really didn't want to cause property damage. He and Megumi were strapped for cash bad enough as it was; they couldn't afford to pay for repairs to someone else's place.

Hanging his head, Kenji marched back to Iwaken's bedroom and pushed the door open, knocking as he did. "Hey, uh...am I...trapped in here, or...?"

Iwakan made no complaint when she was rather unceremoniously plopped into her bed, not saying a word as Kenji walked out to exit. She knew he'd be back and thus he was right on time asking about whether he was simply trapped in the hotel.

The young woman dangled the keys above her with one hand, the other already resting behind her head as she'd taken a quick moment to make herself more comfortable before retrieving the keys from her person... wherever she'd been keeping them.

"You can just take the keys, prop the door open and then make sure it closes on your way out. There's a door stopper against the wall by the door. It's hard to miss. A lot of customers aren't interested in leaving together as much as they were in being together so it works out that someone has to stay behind on key duty. Plenty of time for one member to make a quick and discreet exit. ...But didn't you really come back to ask about a reward?" She followed the question up with a playful and yet still lazy wink.

Kenji started a grab for the keys, but paused when the woman mentioned something about a reward. He blinked a puzzled look at her, tilting his head to the side slightly to determine if she was being serious or not. He had had no expectation of any kind of reward when bringing Iwaken here, but he supposed if she was offering he wasn't going to refuse.... after all, with as strapped as he and Megumi were for cash these days, they could always use the extra income, wherever they got it.

"Oh, uh...really?" he said, trying not to sound too interested. "I mean, yeah, sure I guess... if you're offering, anyway."